Saturday, May 12, 2007

"Unclear on the concept" - an occasional series

When the Mandarin moved back to California in 2000 after many years in Hong Kong (we'll just leave out the short stint in Charlotte), he rented the first nine months in the posh L.A. bedroom community of La CaƱada-Flintridge, which sits north of the city in the foothills of the Angeles Crest mountains and adjacent to a national forest. One charming thing about LCF, as locals often shorten the name, is the frequent sight of deer and other wildlife wandering the lanes at certain times of the year.

One morning, the Mandarin noticed a pair of notices stapled to a phone pole near his house. The top one, slightly weathered, showed a drawing of a mountain lion and read:

ATTENTION: MOUNTAIN LION SIGHTING

A mountain lion was sighted in your neighborhood.

Take proper precautions and keep an eye on children and pets. Bring your pet food inside. When you venture outside, make plenty of noise to alert the animal if it is near. If the lion is sighted, do not run or turn your back on it. Make yourself appear as large as you can and walk away slowly. If attacked, do not play dead as you would with a bear. You must be aggressive.

NOTIFY THE POLICE DEPARTMENT OR HUMANE SOCIETY IF YOU SIGHT THE ANIMAL - 626-792-7151


Stapled below was a much newer flyer, with a grainy photograph of a Burmese cat, that read:

LOST CAT

"Fluffy" is a neutered, short hair, large, slightly fat cat, with yellow eyes and hopefully a red/pink collar.

REWARD!!

Please call (818) 414-xxxx (24 hrs.)"


Hence the title for this occasional series: "Unclear on the Concept."

Next in the series: "Shotgun" Cheney goes to Iraq to tell them to run an open and honest government and be fair to political opponents or risk further polarizing and possibly destroying their country. Tom Toles nails it.

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